Let's call them.. Ugly mom moments.

Motherhood is ridiculous. Especially when they are ages two and under. Motherhood is messy, tasking, monotonous, exciting, hilarious, frustrating, rewarding, loving, sticky, chaotic, and pretty freaking great. I have these moments in my day to day Mama life that I call ugly mom moments. With the excessive sharing that all of our social media outlets offer it's easy to see other mothers, friends, co-workers, etc. lives as something to envy. It's true, think about your newsfeed for a second. The picturesque families, the adorable children, the perfect couples. Hmm.. or so you see. We all have moments during our lives where we say things, or do things we aren't proud of. With the over documentation of our generation it's easy to feel inferior or that your life isn't as amazing as those people you follow. Perception is everything and from an outsider looking in you may see my two gorgeous daughters in vintage clothing happily posing on a grassy knoll... the reality... a toddler squatting to pee in that grassy knoll, while my baby pooped straight up her back. (both examples happen to deal with bodily fluid.. I mean, most examples do)

Being a lifestyle photographer, it's my job to make my clients look good. How many times do I hear parents say "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry.. I hope you got something!" That's just it.. behind every photo there's a temper tantrum, a marital argument, a skinned knee. Everybody has those ugly life moments, we just most often choose not to share them with our "viewers" or "friends." So let me just take a second to dedicate the next snippet to my own personal "ugly mom moments," that occur on the regular.

  • That one time I hear Lucy yelling from the bathroom, "Mama I wipe my hiney! I so happy!" Only to find poo poo on her hand.. only problem was she used that hand to brush the hair out of her face. Poo on the hand, on the cheek, on the neck, in the hair. NIGHTMARE.
  • The other morning when I hear my door creek open at approximately 5:45 am and witness my toddler climbing in my bed, play Doctor. set in hand saying "Mama so sick. I check you up now." Cue full body check up before my brain could even function. Don't worry, as Lucy says "I all better now."
  • When a diaper decided to not perform it's diaper duties and once again your hip is covered in pee.. or the best Grandma gets a pee pee stream right down the side of her. 
  • At 10:00pm you are trapped in the urgent care for your baby's double ear infection, your toddler's begging for lollipops and you realize you have not a SINGLE baby wipe.. paper towels it is..
  • Reasoning with a tantrum ensuing because she wants to wipe her best friend's hiney after going potty.
  • When you hear your baby giggling and look over to find that she toppled over behind a stack of pillows.. it's fine, she loved it.
  • That one time, who am I kidding.. every time, I verbally shout to God, 'why now!? Please help me not completely LOSE IT!" Or the not so proud words you chose to use in that moment.
  • "Mama I lock the door! It's DARK, help!" enough said.
  • Overhearing your 2 year old say "Oh Damnitt.." because she got chalk on her jeans. (I have no idea who to blame for that one)
  • The microwaveable bag of pancakes you give your daughter at 6 am and the Tinkerbell movie she watches in your bed while you get just 5 more minutes of sleep.. please. 
  • the hot sauce you keep in your purse because yes your kid is a known 'biter' 
  • the obscene curse words you mutter just outside your child's door because you stepped on not one toy.. instead you stubbed a toe on a block then proceeded to trip on a naked baby doll only to land knees first into a wooden doll crib. 
  • That look you get in Starbucks when you order your toddler a 'coffee.' Hey, if it keeps her quiet through half my Target trip its worth the $4.50.
  • You turn your head for a moment only to find your bulldog demolishing your baby's face with her tongue.. so many dog kisses.
  • You walk through the wine section to pick up the necessities, and hear your two year old saying, "Dis is beer.. nooo.. Dis not beer, dis wine!" "Dis Mama's wine!" 
  • Using baby wipes for just about every thing you can think of, a hiney, the bathroom sink, dirty dog paws. 
  • The children library books you left on top of your car, only to realize 20 minutes down the road that they are in fact not in your back seat. Then finding these books 20 minutes later being pounded by oncoming traffic. Cue hazard lights and a frogger Mama dodging traffic.
  • Locking both children inside the bathroom handing them my giant bag of nail polish to occupy them as I take a 3 second shower. (Do not fear.. neither one can open these polishes, yet...)
  • A distracted breastfeeding baby in a public place.. aka church. All modesty, out the window!
  • Chasing down your two run away dogs with a toddler in hand and a baby on your hip. Next time, I'm not chasing. 
  • The moment your kid turns to you at the neighborhood park and says "mama I have to go poo poo" so with no potty in sight, what do you do!? Rush to the nearest grassy spot and make her do her business. The looks.. What was a mom to do!? I need a tshirt that says "potty training a marathon, not a sprint."
  • When your baby is crying in the back seat and your 2 year old is yelling at you saying "mommy help Millie!" meanwhile you yell back "I can't right now or I will crash the car," then she responds with "crash the car Mama, PEASE!!" 
This list could go on and on and on. Believe me it does. The truth is remembering these ridiculous moments at the end of the day with a glass of wine is hand is what keep us all sane. (or at least me!) I love the chaos, the mess, the endless amounts of love that these tiny humans bring to me each day. Everyone has ugly moments, it certainly doesn't make for an ugly life, just a real entertaining one ;-)

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